Ragdoll

My sweet, you
asked me
about Insanity

insanity
/ɪnˈsanəti/
noun
the state of being seriously mentally ill; madness.

I held up
peachblossom
candies

for you, and
ruminated
the whistling

monster; eyes
carmine, chasing
me

till I slipped into
my greyscaled,
homestead

listening to mom’s
sewing machine
ratatat

ratatat

‘Ma, I want to play’
ratatat

‘Sing to me at night?’
ratatat

‘Ma, there’s a monster outside’
ratatat

her eyes, red
from Moscato
wine, red

wool, for my
stillborn
brother

red with the
monster, now
inside

in our family,
the heir wears
red wool

ruffles

blessed be

but I crowned
myself, with
a wreath of

peonies

My sweet, my
insanity
lies in peony

wreaths and
watercress
tufts

not in the angry
willowtree of
welts

father carved
in
me

nor in the
porcelain
Buddha

that smashed to
smithereens
as the old man, with

bald spots, and
garlic
breath

shoved me
down, on
his aisle of

little
crotches
smelling like

daffodils

and an old
photograph of a
buck naked

ukulele
lady,with
blackbeetle

nipples,
smoking
Havana

how I wanted to be her

‘You’re a whore’
he
whispered,

his white hands
poking
down my

tadpole legs

and I believed him

Previously published on: Poems by Ritoshree Chatterjee with Illustrations from Subarnarekha Pal — Plato’s Caves online (wordpress.com)

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Ritoshree Chatterjee pursues her undergraduate degree in English literature and struggles to locate herself through writing amidst the chaos.

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